Saturday, June 24, 2017

How the Pride Parties Are Different, Sunday NOONER, Chris Cornell – Post #76

Note that there won’t be a party on Tuesday 6/27, Thursday 6/29, Friday 6/30, or on Tuesday 7/4.


This is the 9th annual PRIDE sex party I’ve hosted.  The first one was in 2009. 

There are two main things which make these parties different from the other ones: the number of guys and groups.

The increased number of attendees is a given.  There’s Black Party weekend, New Year’s Eve, out-of-towners during the holidays and a PRIDE-driven uptick in June, but PRIDE Sunday is the big one. 

If you don’t like a dense crowd, this one probably isn’t your speed; but if you are into numbers…and are into my parties…this is the best party I’ll host all year.

The very fact that, at any given party, guys actually come into my home, take off their clothes, jerk off and have sex, is completely amazing to me and a downright privilege…

Sunday’s PRIDE party is even greater.

Doing what I do, for as long as I have, I’m pretty accurate at determining whether or not a guy is a fit for this party, as soon as they come through the door.  Hopefully during the online screening, but there’s only so much you can tell. 

Most individual guys who come fit in well and usually enjoy the experience. 

Some don’t and I can usually tell when I see first greet them.  If it’s a strong sense, I’ll just tell the guy outright.  Some of that depends on what’s happening at the party, at that given moment, on that given night.  Like in hockey, the move you make is determined by the facts on the ice at that moment.


I have no interest in duping anyone or gaining from someone else’s troubles.  I always try to treat people the way I want to be treated, equalize expectations of each other.  Sometimes that means cutting one’s losses sooner than later.

While any given individual coming to a party (who’s screened and been screened) usually leaves with a satiated smile, a group of friends coming to a party together often does not.  It’s very rare for a guy, in a group or not, to actually voice any displeasure, but the signals are there to be read.  And I’m cool with that.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to avoid it; and I assume you do, too.

If four guys arrive together, but who don’t know one another and just happen to have arrived concurrently, that’s great: more guys at the party.  But when four friends come, it usually looks like this:

The leader of the group – the one whose email address I have and who received the info – confidently walks in first, followed by two or three guys who aren’t nearly as sure of the situation as the first guy.    

Heads bobble around, eyes dart in every direction, stupefied smiles…nervous first timers tend to look like Stevie Wonder singing “Isn’t She Lovely” to a room full of birds.  Now picture them in a group.

Again, nervous first timers happen all the time, but as individuals, they usually (usually) do what they need to do to get into the experience, leaving happily.

But groups are different.  They quickly wind up standing in a corner whispering to each other.  Their heads will pop up, look around for a second, then get back to their huddle.  For some reason, individual guys can get past their own misgivings better than those of another.  The one who’s not thrilled is the one who’s deferred to.  In other words, the squeaky wheel gets greased.

It’s often true for couples, too.  They seem to do better when they divide & conquer.

This isn’t to say that it’s impossible for a small group of friends to come and have a great time – I have seen it – but a lot of why I’ve been able to host parties for so long is knowing how to play the numbers.

So just keep this in mind if you’re coming with a group.


Switching the NOONERs to Fridays from 3PM-6PM has been a success, so for July, we’ll keep that schedule.  The Saturday NOONERs will probably come back after Labor Day, but possibly sooner if I have scheduling needs.

Speaking of NOONERs, let’s try something different. 

One of the guys who came to a party, this week, asked if I’d consider hosting a Sunday NOONER.  “I do most of my stuff on Saturday so I have nothing to do on Sunday afternoons.  On Sunday evenings, I like to be home and ‘tucked in.’”

So we’re having one in July, on Sunday the 9th.  We’ll still have a NOONER on Friday the 7th, because they’ll attract two different groups of guys: those who leave town for the weekend and those who don’t.  No party that Sunday evening.


I feel like I keep saying this, but just in case, I am soooo appreciative of you guys.  You really are angels.

And you truly are a privilege. 

Happy PRIDE, misters.


Finally, a nod to Chris Cornell, who recently died and who was the singer for Soundgarden.

1991 to 1994/95 was a real sweet spot in music, youth culture, politics, and in my own life.  I’m in the age group of the grunge rockers, and when that scene hit, my life was also…hitting: graduation from college, moving out of my parents’ house, first real job, first long-time boyfriend, first real love.  At that age, everything is new and, therefore, sort of sensitive to the touch.  In heat and on fire. 

Soundgarden was one of the first of those early 90s Seattle bands.  In relative collaboration with the other grunge-era greats – notably Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nine Inch Nails, Stone Temple Pilots  -- they not only created the proverbial soundtrack to a lot of our lives; they also gave us an identity.  Granted, it was whiney and entitled (which we were too young to identify), but the enormous power and newness and originality were like a giant wave.   Some got eaten up by that wave, but I think that for most of us, it was a totally outrageous fuckton of fun.

I saw a lot of shows, including Woodstock ’94, but I never got to see Soundgarden back then.  My band played a club on Long Island in 1990, the night before Soundgarden played there, but I didn’t go to a Soundgarden concert (nor any Chris Cornell act), until 2014 at Jones Beach.  I’m so glad I went.

By all accounts, Chris was a really great guy.   A great father and husband, friend, philanthropist of his time and talents as well as his money, and out-and-out fucking rock god.

I’ve found that life is, among many other things, a series of hellos and goodbyes.  Goodbye Chris.  And thank you.

Among so many of his great performances, this one’s my favorite.

Have a positively superlative summer!

The Örgy Guy