Come as you are, as you were
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy
Take your time, hurry up
The choice is yours, don’t be late
Take a rest, as a friend, as an old memory
Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend, as a friend, as an old memory
“Come As You Are,” Cobain ‘91
Tuesday, 5/6/14 2:57 PM
The last post, regarding nervous guys, garnered very positive responses. Guys were happy to have some of their fears assuaged, and many of them came to their first party, as a result. One guy said, “If I had read it, earlier, I’d have been here five years ago.”
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After almost five years and over 740 parties, I finally summoned up my own courage to allow someone else to host his party, at my space. This is something I’d always considered, but never tried, because A) I host four of my own weekly parties and B) I’m ultimately responsible for what goes on here, which is something I take very seriously.
But Lidell, who successfully hosted his Jacks of Color party here on Saturday 5/3, has been doing this since 1994. I didn’t feel like I had to manage him or his staff, in any way; I just had to sit by the outside gate and make sure the guys arriving weren’t drunk or obnoxious.
They weren’t. Any of them. As I’d figured, they were all courteous and with-it grown-ups, which is precisely what I look for, regardless of age. Inside the space, they weren’t loud, they didn’t wreck the place, and they left just as courteously as they’d arrived. I was not surprised, but I was heartened.
They also left satisfied.
It was very interesting to see how Lidell, or any other host for that matter, decided to set the mood. He didn’t have the TV on for porn (which I’d actually prefer, but my guys like the porn), no lasers, reduced lighting (a lot of tealight candles), and flyers on the walls. He also placed bowls of munchies, one of Lidell’s trademarks, on the built-in “shelves” next to the stairs. He played all house music, too.
Oh and there were also 60 guys.
Lidell and I are pretty similar: we’re both consummate professionals (as are his staff, Pete, Curtis, and Sal) and neither of us is greedy. If we were to go out of dinner, we’d each be fighting for the check. This is a quality that I really like in people.
It’s his party, so I’m not going to mention any dates here, but if you’re on his list, I hope you’ll check it out.
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Most of you are already aware of the blog, Adventures in Group Sex. They’ve been advertising my parties for about four years. I have nothing against the first two guys who ran it, but I’ve got to say that I’m supremely impressed by how professional Adrian is, who’s now running it.
Four years ago, I wrote my support of the first guy running it, only to have a bad review of my party posted there, a few days later. I’m not exactly thick-skinned, so I was naturally bothered by it. I don’t know if Adrian will post reviews (although I assume he will), but just his initial approach is awesome; he’s doing it the way I’d do it.
He immediately emailed all the hosts to ask for their detailed input, with a mechanism for periodically updating old information. So nice. He writes well, he’s organized, he’s polite, and he’s responsive. At first blush, he seems to Get It. This is something I really appreciate, especially if he’s under 30 (I don’t know his age), because that’s something generally learned by experience.
And speaking of reviews, I tried using them on this blog, a few months ago. The reason I stopped is because I kept getting bad reviews sent to me, of other parties.
As a host, I know how hard it can be to throw a great party. Each party is different, especially when there are four per week, as I have. There isn’t a host out there who’s hoping guys don’t have a good time at their party. If someone attends a party and doesn’t enjoy it, this doesn’t mean no one did. And it doesn’t mean you won’t. This is especially true if the reviewer only went to one of this host’s parties. Anything can happen on any given night...which is a lot like Life and NYC, right? Diversity, intensity, and mere chance, are all qualities which make life interesting, at least in my opinion.
If a host says every guy is in great shape, but they’re not, then that’s a problem. If the host says there will absolutely be at least a certain number of guys attending, and there definitely aren’t that many, then that’s a problem, too. These things are “reviewable,” because the host committed to it and may have played the ol’ bait-and switch trick. But if a guy is the whiney type, or a “down head,” or just didn’t get laid, then you’re reading a review that you shouldn’t be reading. And really shouldn’t be posted, in the first place.
We try, yo. And I can’t see myself posting these types of reviews just to get clicks, which actually is what I was looking for. Just not at anyone’s expense.
Understand that hosts want you to have a great time. If you don’t it may not be the host’s fault, nor anyone else’s. Just sayin’.
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And finally, the “worst” of Craig’s List.
Since we, the regular hosts, can no longer advertise on BBRT; and as I, in particular, cannot advertise on adam4adam*, I’ve had to use Craig’s List to get the word out and grow my list. CL really isn’t the best place to advertise, as anyone and his great aunt Beth are on it, but it’s something I’ve had to do and it’s worked.
But there are some really wild responses. I’m not sure if they’re the “worst” or the “best.” You decide.
If u'll do my open hungry hole is yours and any friend you want to tag me
u fuck too?
white pussy bottom hungry hole
needs deep ass pounding
17 & 7th
u know u want a hole that can take u deep while huffing poppers”
My response: “Take it easy on the meth.”
Respondent #1: “sking”
THE PHOTWOGAYFAIRYASSSISSY TRAINING BRAS FOUR OFF MY FAIRYFEMMIELIES END CRIES TWO GET HER MAN OR MEN TWO FEMEMMINIZE, ME, END OUR T/V IN THE WHITE PROM DRESS WHITE STOCKCOCKKINGS WHITE HEELS AROUND THE MANS NECK, 18 YR OLD SONNNIE GIRLIE BOY. ARE T/V ' S WELLCOMEDIN THIS PARTY ? IF NOT I WILL COME BI MY SELF, THE MAN IN THE BLUE SUN GLASSES, I AM FIFTY YRS OLS, MY SON IS 18. I AM HOPEING TO TAKE A LIMMO TO YOUR PARTY TOKNIGHT. MAY I IF MY FAIRY GODDRESS MOTHER GIVES MY WISH THAT YOU MEN, WOOD GIVE ME THE PLEASEHER BI WEARING WHAT EVER YOU WANTME TO WEAR.
Attached were a couple of pictures of, presumably an 18-year-old guy, wearing little girls’ clothes and a bra.
I didn’t reply; I didn’t know what to say. I really dig that guys have their own trips, but as a host, I’ve got to weed out weirdos...and what could be much weirder?
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*Last summer, a slimey douchebag complained to adam4adam about my party. He was a “daddy” who said he’s 45, my age, but he’s more like 60. He didn’t like that my friend John was smoking cigarettes here (which is no longer allowed, anyway), so he wrote a long missive to me complaining about it. He said he’d also write to adam4adam, which he presumably did, because they immediately stopped allowing me to post my ads there. I don’t know what he told them, but I figure he must’ve lied, since smoking cigarettes isn’t a crime or whatever.
So, if you’re on a4a and would like to see even more guys at my parties, you may consider writing to the a4a staff to tell them that I’m sane, fair, ethical, and throw good parties. This is yet another case of one person selfishly and unnecessarily ruining it for the many.
The Örgy Guy