Sunday, April 20, 2014

Guys Who Stop Coming – Post #56

I stand here waiting for you to bang the gong
To crash the critic sayin, “Is it right or is it wrong?”

“Applause,” Lady Gaga ‘14

Sunday, 4/20/14 12:13 PM
Outside my building

I’m sitting in a spot where Madonna actually used to hang out, back in the early 80s.  She used sit on this stoop.  I think that’s pretty neat.

The last time I blogged, I wrote that Madonna had already invented Lady Gaga.  Having thought about that several times, since, I’d like to change my opinion, which had been based on the fact that she’s an outspoken, on-the-edge 20-something, white, Italian-American singer of dance music, who performs concerts where she dances with a lot of back-up dancers.

Madonna has never been as much into the fashion-as-art concept, with perhaps here “cone boobs” in ’90 as her biggest statement (well, actually no clothes was her biggest fashion statement).  Lady Gaga’s trip is way beyond that.  Every time I see her, I’m fascinated by her sense of style.  Total artist.  I don’t think Madonna would ever wear meat, even as a statement.

I do still know believe that she won’t last very long if she continues to party like she does. 

But anyway.


A lot of guys ask me why I no longer have weekly bareback parties.  The reason is because the website on which I used to post the ads no longer allows us, the regular party hosts, to post those ads.  I used that site for over four years, as did other hosts, but when they started hosting their own parties – usually twice a month – they didn’t want the competition. 

I still have a ton of bareback guys on my list, but since I can no longer get new guys from that site, I am now only hosting them once a month.


Here is a post, from a couple of years ago, which still applies:

For at least the last year, I’ve meant to blog on the subject of returning regulars.  That is, guys who were regulars, but stopped coming for whatever reason, then come back.  Or they don’t.  I’d kept this idea on the back burner.

But then I realized something, the other night.  I passed a bodega I used to go to regularly and saw the cashier standing outside.  I felt a little embarrassed that I haven’t been going there as much, as though I’d been disloyal to him.  As I turned the corner on East 7th, I realized that if I felt that way about a store clerk whose name I don’t even know, then how must former regulars feel about returning here even after we’d developed more of a relationship? 

Other than some basic courtesy, I look for nothing more from my guys than their doing whatever makes them happy.  If that means not coming for a while, then that’s what I want for them.  Men that bring eager energy are part of that which makes a hot orgy, while stale energy is stale energy.

The other night, someone came who hadn’t been here since New Year’s Eve (when we were at the Perry St. location).  He told me he’d just broken up with someone he met at that party, another regular whom I also hadn’t seen. 

Guys get boyfriends, guys move, guys get bored.  There are any number of reasons why a guy might stop coming.

I understand that your sex life, your life, has nothing to do with loyalty to me.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s all about you.  If you come to every other orgy for two or three months, then stop coming, I’m not bothered by it.  I just figure you’re doing what you have to do or whatever makes you happy.

When a guy does return, often he’ll have this look on his face like I’m going to give him this “where have you been?” look.  Nah-ah.  I usually just smile broadly and am happy to see him. 

Incidentally, a guy might also get that look if he’s come to a few in a I’m going to judge him.  Heck, if I can regularly aid you on your sexual trip, that’s great, and it also means I must be doing something right.

Just know that you’re free to return without feeling uncomfortable. 

And we hope to see you again soon.

The Örgy Guy

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