Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Where Are You Guys Coming From? – Post #50

"Hey, lemme ask you a question -- in these nudist colonies, do they eat naked in the dining room?"

"I would imagine it's all naked."

"What about the chambermaids, are they naked too?"

"They're naked. The gardener's naked. Bellhops. It's one big Nude-O-Rama."

~ Seinfeld, Jerry and George, “The Contest”

Tuesday, 1/29/13 3:11 PM
At home

Please take the new survey on SurveyMonkey.  It’s got more in-depth questions than the first one in 2010 and it includes age, race, and location, so the results will have more meaning and relevance.


About a year ago, I began asking the guys coming to my parties (as opposed to simply being on my list) where they come from. Specifically, the zip code or, if international, the country.  It makes me appreciate you guys more, knowing how far you’ve come.  It’s also been one of the more interesting stats because I’d had no way of knowing that guys were actually coming from places like Switzerland and Hong Kong and Poland and....

But that’s for the next post.  This one is more general.  See the site for the colorful graphs.  It breaks the attendees down among The Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, Staten Island, Long Island, New Jersey, Upstate New York, Outstate (outside of NY and NJ), and International.

Those areas are further broken down to the safe sex and bareback parties.  Which boroughs have more guys practicing safe or raw sex and which have fewer?

Overall, a little more than half of the attendees come from Manhattan, at 56%.  The next borough, in terms of frequency, is Brooklyn, at 12%.  That’s a big drop-off, especially when considering how close I am, in The East Village, to Brooklyn.  New Jersey comes in third at 10% and half of that number is from Queens (which is a subway trek), at 5%.  Slightly more guys come from outside of NY and NJ, than Queens, at 6%.  Very few guys come from The Bronx (2%), but that may be more of a travel logistics thing than there being fewer gay men in that particular borough.  Staten Island, though...I’m not sure that there are a lot of gay men there.  Forget the percentage (0%); check out the actual number of guys who’ve come: two.  Yeah, the transportation logistics may have something to do with that number (ferry, anyone?), but combined with the fact that there are no gay bars on Staten Island and I’m left thinking it’s a pretty straight borough.  Only 2% come from upstate NY and 5% are outstaters (outside New York and New Jersey), and another 5% from outside The United States entirely.  19% are not from New York at all.  We get more international men and outstaters around the December holidays.

But is there a difference in guys coming to the safe and bare parties?  Not a whole lot, but there are a few.  According to the men who’ve come to my particular parties, fewer from Brooklyn, Manhattan, and The Bronx attend safe sex parties, while more guys from Queens and Long Island attend the safe parties.

Twice as many guys from The Bronx have attended my bareback parties, than the safe ones.  However, as not that many guys come from that borough, the numbers could be skewed either way.  Queens, however, is a little different.  While almost twice as many guys from Queens are coming to the safe parties than the raw ones, the number is probably more accurate since there are more Queens guys coming than from The Bronx.  Internationally, there’s been no difference, both at 5%.  Same goes for Outstate (6% each).  New Jersey is also very close (10% safe, 9% bare).  Upstate New York is very similar to The Bronx, in that not many Upstaters come, but twice as many come to the safe parties (2% to 1%).

These numbers likely correspond with race and ethnicity, as some boroughs tend to have more of one, than the other.  I also collect that data as best I can, which I’ll post here later.

Next week’s post will break down Manhattan into its different neighborhoods.  Which are the gayest neighborhoods?  Then we’ll see what states and what countries.  Stay tuned...


One of the reasons that men choose not to attend a sex party is the fear of running into a guy they know.  Back in ’07, when I’d first discovered orgies, I told my (now late) ex-boyfriend about them, to which he replied, “With my luck, I’d run into someone I know.”  It’s really too bad because I am totally sure that he would’ve had a great time.  He unfortunately died shortly afterward, of cancer.  If he hadn’t, I think he’d have started attending them.  He was an exhibitionist and he never fully explored that aspect of himself.

Over the course of 516 parties I’ve hosted, I’m only aware of it happening three times.  All three times, it was really no big deal.  One of them would leave, and all three of them returned to future parties anyway.

Some guys think, “It’s just sex, so what’s the big deal?”   Personally, though, I would prefer not to run into someone I know from work or wherever.  It’d be too weird.  Not the end of the world (and maybe even kinda cool), but probably weird.

But herein lies one of the benefits of hosting parties that are “only” 15-25 guys...the chances of running into someone is far less than going to a party with 50 guys.  If that’s an issue for you, but you still really want to attend sex parties, I’d recommend coming here or anywhere there are fewer attendees.

Don’t deprive yourself if you don’t have to.  Life is too short.

The Örgy Guy

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