Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Adapt or Die, X & Tweets Return– Post #42

In a world where I feel so small
I can’t stop thinking big
~ ”Caravan,” N. Peart ‘10

Tuesday, 9/25/12 1:40 PM
Astor Place Starbuck’s

In the summer of 2007, when I was getting into making videos for youtube, I attended a one-day, NYU filmmaking class in the building at 3rd Avenue and Astor/St. Mark’s.  Well, that building has been torn down.  In its place, they’re erecting a bigger one, and even though it’s yet only the basic structure, one can easily see that this one is more architecturally interesting.

I suppose they need to try to keep up with the Frank Gehrys and Zaha Hadids of the world.


It’s been almost a month since I launched theorgyguy.com.  As a host, I was always searching for new ways to get the word out, particularly a site dedicated to parties.  So I created one. I’d anticipated that other hosts would see it as an opportunity to advertise their own parties.  Either I was flat out wrong or they just haven’t gotten around to it, yet.

Either way, it’s been very disheartening.

However, I’m a survivor and I firmly believe in adapt or die.  So I’m changing course.  Sooner or later, hosts from all over will be posting, but in the meantime, I have to shake things up.

I must adapt.

My tagline is sex party source.  Right now, that’s not what the site is.  Therefore, I am researching and compiling lists of parties in the NYC area, but more importantly, outside of NYC.  I will list only the parties that already advertise online, as there are hosts who are reluctant to reveal their information publically.  I will absolutely respect that, so any party revealed to me must already be online, and I’ll have to see its online source.

This should be the site to find out where to go if you’re travelling to another city, or just want to see the variety of what’s out there, in your own city.

I am inviting guys to contact me with any information they have regarding sex parties in their own (or any other) area.  You’d need only send me the contact info, and I’d do the rest, but you can certainly include whatever else you may deem appropriate.  You can also just provide the link to an existing online source.

The tricky part of this will be reviews.  I’ve long been an opponent to reviews for these reasons:
1)  The person writing it may have either a vested interest in the party’s success, or may just have a grudge.
2)  The person writing it may have only been to one party, which is hardly reliable, as every party has good and bad nights.  Every party.
3)  A regularly hosted party, be it weekly and especially if it’s monthly, takes a lot of time to develop.  If a new party is reviewed poorly, it may just be that it hasn’t had the time to become what the host wants it to be, so said review can actually kill it before it’s truly begun.
With this in mind, I will be sure to remember what it’s like to read a bad review about my own party.  Golden Rule.  The point would be to serve the party-goers, but to also be cognizant of what each host wants his party to be. 
If I receive a bunch of negative reviews about one party, I will likely not post them, but instead contact the host first, to see what his thoughts are.  It would be an opportunity for him to make some changes.  I’ll probably pay more attention to parties with consistent positive reviews, which would naturally direct guys to that party, without bad-mouthing any parties that are sub-optimal. 
I will be paying particular attention to point #1, the person writing it, and whether or not he’s reliable.  Some of this will require my experience, but also my gut.  Either way, I’ll do my best, and I definitely will not be accepting any bribes. 
The brand I’ve built, over the last few years, has been that of an ethical, thoughtful, and smart guy in an industry that employs a lot of slime. It’s in my own best interest to ensure that the reader trusts me.  Or, in many cases, continues to trust me.
So please feel free to email me at theorgyguy@gmail.com if you have something to say.  You could be anywhere in the world; I want to build the most comprehensive sex party site anywhere, so that I can honestly call my site, the sex party source.

I used to tweet real-time updates during each party.  I stopped about a year ago, and I’ve started it back up again.  This time, it’s not on Twitter, but on theorgyguy.com.  You just have to search my screen name (The Orgy Guy), then click on it.  That will take you to the updates on my Activity page.  You can also post your own updates in your profile, for others to see, or comment on my updates.  Post your favorite parties or whatever, but please don’t bad-mouth any members or parties.  So please register on the site, to see how the parties are going.  Other hosts will ba able to do this (once someone besides me actually post his parties!).  That’ll happen.


Regarding membership, know that I have never used anyone’s email address for any reason other than the one they expect.  Meaning, if you’re on my email alert list, you get weekly email alerts,  but if you’re not already on that list, I won’t place the email address you registered on the site with, on the email list.  Long-short: it’s safe to register; I won’t use or sell your address to anyone for SPAM or any other purpose. 


The next X filmed orgy will be on Friday 10/5.  Please see the emails for specifics.   RSVPing is available on the site.  

This party gets a lot of good buzz and the sex is very hot, which you already know if you’ve seen any of the videos.

Doors are 8PM to 8:45PM only, so that the door isn’t buzzing while filming is going on.

The Örgy Guy

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The New Site and Another Kind of Faith – Post #41

All this time I’ve been workin’ them angels overtime
Riding and diving and flying just over the edge
~ ”Workin’ Them Angels,” N. Peart ‘07

I’m not like them, but I can pretend
The sun is gone, but I have a light
The day is done, but I’m having fun
I think I’m dumb, but maybe I’m just happy

~ ”Dumb,” K. Cobain ‘93

Nothing good comes easy.
~ My mother, late 70s through early 90s

Monday, 9/10/12 9:04 A.M.
Astor Place Starbuck’s, sitting at a window

There’s quite a cross-section of people at the Astor Place subway station.  Lots of folks heading to work.  In and out-of-towners.  Hipsters and students.  Hipster students.  I see I’m not the only guy growing his hair.  The East Village will do that to you.


I’m not religious.  I dabbled in it for about a minute, way back when, but it didn’t take.  That doesn’t mean I don’t have faith – it’s just not that kind of faith.

It’s the faith that I won’t get hit by falling debris when I’m walking on a sidewalk; that some crazy gunman won’t choose today to launch his “Astor Place Starbuck’s Massacre;” or that the woman next to me won’t turn around and accidentally spill coffee on my laptop.

As he remembers to save document. 

It’s the faith that my bell would ring, on party nights.  The faith that guys will join my site and buy videos.  And that other hosts will post their events.

There’s a line between being appropriately safe and...well...wearing a friggin’ helmet everywhere we go.  Sometimes we need to take chances.  Seems the greatest rewards come with the greatest risks. 

The kinds of risks I used to take were getting to work late (again), not filing my taxes, or smoking cigarettes.   These days, it's in the form of a website.  The risk is that no one will visit the site, that none of the videos are sold or not enough to support myself.

That is a very big risk, but it’s a risk worth taking because I’ve set myself up for this step, with the time and effort I’ve dedicated to the party industry and the supportive people in my life.  Not to mention Lexapro.

This site offers up a whole new set of challenges. Downloading large video files, payment transactions, members’ ability to navigate the site.  Just yesterday, my server, GoDaddy, was compromised by a hacker, so the site wasn’t even available most of the afternoon.  I’m now in the process of switching servers.

When I was first confronted with having to come up with a new, post-party-hosting occupation, I explored three different options, which I turned into a poll in this blog: writing a book (31%), filming couples privately (21%), or filming other parties for DVD sale (46%).  Ironically, I didn’t go with any of those.  Rather, I chose a fourth option: launching the party website I’d had in mind for a couple of years.


Anyone who’s been reading this blog for a while knows that I tend to quote the band Rush a lot.  It’s the closest thing to religion I’ve ever really had, a fan for 34 years.  They’ve inspired me in myriad ways, but the way that’s most relevant here, on this blog and for the kinds of things I write about, is faith in oneself.

Back in the 70s, bands prodigiously produced an album up to once or even twice per year.  There was no internet, nor massive advertising campaigns (at least not like we’ve got, today), so bands had to tour, write, record, and tour s’more.  Their first album, in ’74, was pretty basic rock and roll, more or less copying the likes Led Zeppelin.  They toured the shit out that record and got some modest airplay.  Their second album, in ’75, was more musically and conceptually ambitious.  They started to “stretch out,” writing and playing more challenging material.  It went over well, and their fan base began to rise, so their record company was happy.

Their third album was also released in 1975.  The band were super proud of it and excited to present it to the rock-listening world.  They took their musicianship and brains to a new level, commiting an entire album side to one concept song.  Before its release, they sat in a van with one of their close friends, Paul Stanley of KISS (they used to tour together).  After the tape ended, he simply said, “I don’t get it.” 

Neither did most anyone else with a pulse.  They went from headliners, back to warm-up acts.  The shows they did headline weren’t well attended.  Their road crew  went as far as to calling it the “down the tubes” tour.  Further, their record company insisted that they revert to producing more basic rock.  Rush’s managers, also in their early 20s, promised the “powers that be” that that’s exactly what Rush would do. 

When presented with this edict, Geddy, Neil, and Alex decided that they’d rather fail with their best effort, than succeed with someone else’s idea of what they ought to be.  They went back into the studio and, unbeknownst to their record company, and with a full dose of pissed off, they produced an even more conceptually ambitious record: 2112.

2112 not only launched their arena-playing career and put them smack dab in the middle of the proverbial map, it also told their record company to shut the fuck up. 

It served notice.

From that point forward, Rush have always produced material that challenged and turned themselves on, merely hoping it’d be enough to sustain their careers.  They are continually surprised, if not perplexed, that the fans keep coming back in droves.  We come back because we love what they produce, but also because we admire their tenacity and belief in themselves, never giving in to outside pressure, even while most of us must.

And so, I Believe.


Now it’s time for me to gather up all the lessons I learned over the course of hosting 400+ parties, and apply them to this new experience.

First of all, I need to remain patient and persevere.  Having a website does not entitle me to a user base, it is just the platform.  As with my party email list, it takes time to gain larger numbers.  I expected the user base to grow quickly, at the outset, but that was because I wasn’t heeding my own lessons learned.  Fool!  It really does take time.

Secondly, it ain’t cheap.  It’s one thing to be prudently economical, but it’s quite another to expect to succeed without it hurting the wallet.  And building the new site has certainly accomplished that!

Then there’s the site, itself.  Is it desirable enough for visitors?  I’ve tried to make it like most of my life these days: streamlined, clean, and uncomplicated, yet nice to reside in for a little while.  The aesthetics of the site, the branding, is something I’ve been developing for a few years.  If you peer through my blog posts, from the beginning in 2010, you’ll see how it’s changed.

Advertising the new site is probably my biggest challenge.  The most obvious way is direct email.  I’ve got a huge list of email addresses, active and inactive.  The thing for me is to never be one of those entities which spams.  I can’t stand spam – spam I cannot stand.  It’s so disrespectful of the individual, so greedy, not giving whit about whether the potential consumer actually wants to read the message.  To that extent, I am not marketing to the guys who’ve requested off my list, but I will send an email to the guys I de-listed because they hadn’t come to a party in a year or so.  I also wear my TÖG t-shirts and have “donated” two of the six videos to The Eagle, a leather bar which shows porn.  I also must hand out cards at parties, again.  I’ve yet to graduate to ad placement.  Marketing is very much a work in progress.

Another big lesson I’ve learned is to try to be kind all of the time.  This isn’t always easy, but it’s important enough for me to try.  No matter how my day has gone or whether I took my Lexapro, or even how many questions someone asks, I’ve got to try to keep a cool head and a smile. 

I’m not living in a vaccuum.

But the most important lesson that I’ve learned is that I can be successful doing things my way.  Manhattan is very unforgiving and it only wants people who are strong enough to withstand all sorts of pressures, including change.  Living here, and particularly living without roommates in an exclusive area, is difficult.  Having been able to manage this has been no small feat, and it’s helped me to realize that I actually can succeed.  

Please use the site.  And remember to keep your faith.  Thanks so much.

The Örgy Guy