Sunday, July 3, 2011

How to Host (Part 4): Marketing – Post #32


“Just between us
I think it’s time for us to recognize
The differences we sometimes fear to show
Just between us
I think it’s time for us to realize
The spaces in between
Leave room for you and I to grow”
               ~N. Peart 1979

Saturday 7/2/11 4:23 P.M.
My Backyard Patio

This is the 4th installment of the How to Host series: Marketing



There are basically three ways to get the word out about your parties: handing out cards, word-of-mouth, and the internet.  65% of the guys who attend my parties are from the internet, 15% referral, 14% from other parties, and 6% are my friends.

I personally don’t see anything wrong with handing out cards at other guys’ parties, as long as it’s discreet and you’re not dissing the party you’re at.  But that’s me.  Guys have done it at my orgies and I don’t mind it at all.  I haven’t handed out cards at other parties for about a year; I’d rather be playing, not working.  I don’t really need a card, anyway, since my theorgyguy email address is easy to remember.  You could also hand out cards at a bar, but you might get thrown out or it could be left around for anyone to see, and that includes the sidewalk.  Some guys will politely take the card, then leave it on the bar or drop it on the floor.  Or lose it in the supermarket.

Word-of-mouth referrals are very good because these men have presumably been told that they would enjoy your particular party. I prefer to do the screening, but if that doesn’t happen, hopefully the guy who’s doing the referring is aware and mindful of what I’m looking for.  Usually they are.

The internet is probably where you’ll do most of your marketing.  A lot of the guys on the internet are window shoppers; they’ve got dick-in-hand, getting off on the fantasy of an orgy; they’ll seek the info, but won’t actually come, inflating your list.  But many of them do come, and they’ll probably make up the bulk of your attendees.  I mostly use two sites: one for safe sex and one for bareback.  I do not recommend that you use Craig’s List. Some of my favorite regulars have come from when I used to post on CL, but the number of flakes and undesirables trolling it, as well as people who don’t like the fact that group sex parties even exist, made me decide not to put my message there.  Those folks should not have your information.

Target your message, as best you can, to those you want to receive your message.  You wouldn’t post your sex party ad on a billboard, where anyone can just happen upon it.  Have the wisdom to apply discretion.  Only post your message to guys who are cool enough to dig, and who are going out of their way to locate a specific site dedicated to your type of piggy and uninhibited sex.  Like this blog!

And totally not like Craig’s List, yo.

Your Message

The orgies I host, by and large, are exactly the orgies I want to host.  The proper message has made all the difference.

3-4 weekly parties are a lot of hours, and if I’m not enjoying the experience, I shouldn’t be doing it.  I really do enjoy hosting, and I’ve never once dreaded hosting on any given evening.  That’s a pretty cool thing to be able to say, and I’m only able to say it because I work hard to get the right guys to come.

When I first starting hosting orgies, I didn’t focus a whole lot on the types of men I wanted; I don’t recall even thinking about it.  I was just hoping enough guys would come.  Quantity over quality, at least until I got things settled.

Over time, and with some experience, I began to notice that not every man who attends a sex party is there for the same thing.  Guys weren’t digging each other as much as I’d wanted.  It required me to be more definitive about the type of orgy I wanted and to develop a clear message about it, as well as a list of men who seemed to match the types of guys I’d want to spend my evening with.

Clearly identify who and what you’re looking for, then base your messages on it.

Here’s an example of a message I use:

Thanks for RSVPing. All info gets emailed, so please reply with your email address. Parties are in the East Village on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, with occasional Friday afternoons.  Once you’ve received the email, then you’re on the list and wouldn’t need to RSVP for future parties. Over 280 orgies hosted. Note that this is a party for height/weight proportional men over 35. 15-30 guys. Average age is 43. Young guys come, but they’re usually sophisticated and into older guys. This is an orgy, not a stand & pose party with guys who take themselves too seriously. Known for intensity and vibe. Racially diverse. Guys range from great shape to not great shape.  Two playrooms (sling included) and a secluded outdoor space for more sex or hanging out. Emails are limited, so to see the schedule, please check the blog. No self-absorbed, high maintenance, mooches, or flakes please.   Thanks.  I’m Scott.

Pretty specific.  If a dude’s not into it, he likely won’t give me his email address.  Men who know what my trip is are the best men to have here, for me and for everyone else at the party.  Now and again, a guy comes who obviously didn’t read the info, but they’re few and usually get removed from the list (which I assume is fine by them).  But by and large, that red paragraph is predominantly and consistently who I get here.  And it’s not like I’m looking for 100 guys to come.  15-30 guys is perfect for me and for what I can handle, by myself (which is the only way I can do this).

If you want a specific type of guy, for a specific type of party, then you should create that party, target those guys. Whatever your hard-on desires.  It’s your creation.  Just try be smart, grown up, and respectful about it.


Most hosts send out email reminders.  After my list hit a certain number (I forget what), Google stopped allowing me to send mass emails.  It looked like spam.  So I broke it up into three separate email addresses.  That worked for a little while.  Now I send 10%, each day.  That way, each member only gets an email once every ten days or so.  That seems to keep everyone happy, including Google.

You can also try Google or Yahoo Groups. 

Your Brand

Your brand is your personality, which is presumably close to the personality of the guys you want to come (so don’t be an asshole). Whenever you create an online profile, you’re essentially branding yourself.  The site provides some specific areas for you to check off and gives you space to write about yourself, to “sell” what you’ve got to guys who are hopefully your type.  Whether we know it or not, we are advertising our own brands: 

Im a happy guy who just want to make everyone smiles!!11!


If you don’t unlock yours THEN DON’T BOTHER ASKING ME TO!!!!!


I am just a bitch hole for your abuse.

I am the hottest fucker you will ever see in your whole fucking life and that includes if ur the first fucking cocksucker to ever fucking time travel. Fuck.

Please fuck me SIR!

no grampas ;>)


Um...just checking things’know...


You get the point. 

You can do different things to convey the personality of the party, beyond the ads and emails.  You can be creative.  I use the umlaut (Ö) to stand out and have some fun.  I think I’m the only one with this kind of men’s blog, who posts the course of the party on Twitter, and who collects different types of data for groovy, useful graphs.

It’s all meant to create a sanctuary for like-minded men to have a great time: an orgy.

281 of them and counting. 


The first cock4lunch was flipping awesome.  Like magical awesome.  If you were here, you went home happy.  There are two more scheduled for Fridays in July: the 8th and the 22nd, from 12 noon to 4PM.  Men started coming at noon, and most got here before 1PM, but plenty got here between 1PM and 3PM.

I’m going to try having one of the weekday parties start earlier, probably at 6PM.  There are a lot of guys who can’t wait until later in the evening.  A lot.  That’ll probably happen in August.


The Örgy Guy