Sunday, October 31, 2010

In Memoriam, Safe Sex Parties, More – Post #23


Saturday 10/30/10 4:30 P.M.

At Home

“Horizon to horizon

Memory written on the wind

Fading away like an hourglass

Grain by grain

Swept away like voices in a hurricane

In a vapor trail

In a vapor trail”

--Peart ‘01

Most of us who go to sex parties keep it separated from our everyday lives. Well...maybe not me as much, but most of you. And sometimes, for various reasons, regulars stop coming. They move, they get boyfriends (some of whom have met here), they need a change-of-scenery. Unless he tells me, I just get the picture over time, not having seen him in a while.

But recently I did find out.

A friend and party regular died suddenly last week at his home. With continued respect for his privacy, I will not mention his name.

We who knew him are shocked and sadenned. He was well-liked and is already missed. When I was first going to sex parties, I admired how he could walk in, find a bottom, and immediately get busy. I wanted to be able to that, rather than have to take an hour to warm up.

Then I learned his secret and adopted it: Viagra.

You’ll be missed for a long time, buddy. Especially bottoms. Peace and thank you for the memories. I hope we brought some extra joy to your life. I know you brought joy to ours...

I’ve got video of it. :)


The parties have recently gone green. We’re re-using the clothes bags, at least until they’re torn, and using stacks of real bar towels rather than paper towels. Please don’t throw them in the garbage and definitely don’t throw them in the toilet.


I’ve been living here for eighteen months and have never once stopped up the toilet, myself. It occasionally gets stopped up during parties, which I’d always been able to remedy easily with a small plunger. Last Thursday, however, was a different case.

A case which cost me $330 (and a bathroom run to Manatus Diner) to repair.

I have to take responsibility for it because I let strangers into my home. You take chances by coming, I take chances by letting you in. But part of my responsibility is to try to keep it from happening (again).

And so, to the toiletly challenged, I give you,

“How to Take a Shit in 3 Easy Steps!”

#1 Open lid and look inside. If yellow and/or brown, feel free to flush it down, but if full of paper (or anything else foreign), don’t wait for later. Contact the host to fish it out.

#2 Shit.

#3 When you’re confident the act of shitting is accomplished (and nothing foreign came out of your ass), you will wipe. Unless your asshole is the side of a donut, you will only need four or five squares of toilet paper. The subsequent wipes should require fewer squares, like three or four. Wipe thorougly three times, then check to see if more will be required. If it is one of those endless wipes, which may demand more than four wipes, flush the toilet before continuing [you may want to squat upward unless you want misty balls]. Repeat as necessary.

I was pissed when it happened, but I hope whoever did it had some sort of Lucy or Niles Moment in the bathroom. A story to be told at cocktail parties. By people he's never even met.

For generations to come.


The last three PEÄK parties drew relatively small crowds. Like too small for my liking. As a host of all-male orgies, I have the responsibility to provide safe sex parties. Therefore, I will and would not stop them, but I may need to schedule fewer. I will wait until after this Tuesday’s PEÄK party to come up with the rest of the November schedule.

If you want to support the safe sex parties, please let me know by coming on Tuesday. Thanks.

The Örgy Guy

No comments: