Sunday, October 24, 2010

As an Attendee – Post #22

Sunday 10/24/10 2:39 P.M.

At Home


“The impulse is pure

Sometimes our circuits get shorted

By external interference

Signals get crossed

And the balance distorted

By internal incoherence”

--Peart ‘81

The weather here was beautiful, this morning and early afternoon. I figured I’d be writing this on the pier, but I need to bang this out and I don’t have time for distractions.

Besides, the clouds have invaded.

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I went to a sex party, Friday night. I stayed for a few hours and had a decent time – nothing overwhelming. I think I fucked four or five guys.

Some guys there probably thought I’m stuck up. I'm not the type to play with everyone and a lot of the time I’m just not ready. It usually takes me some time to get warmed up, when I first get to a party, and that often happens from watching other guys having sex. That also helps me to determine if I’m a match with someone; he’s gotta be able to take me.

If I’m fucking a guy and another guy (or guys) is getting off on touching me, that’s usually fine, but when the finger starts working it’s way to my ass...well...I move his hand away. If it happens a second time, I move it away again. If there’s a third, I’ll turn around. I mean no offense; I just don’t want that finger up my ass is all.

I’ve been “accused” of being a stuck up Chelsea dude. No fucking way, even if I do stand in the corner with my arms folded. My taste in men is often not very orthodox, but it does tend to be pretty specific. I know what I’m into (just like everyone else). If there’s a nice ass winking at me from across the room, there’s a good chance I’ll fuck it even if I’m not that into the guy, but the circumstances need to be right (as in I’ve got a hard-on). If the timing is not right, I may even walk away from someone I’m into, hoping the situation will be right the next time.

Orgies are not exactly conducive to explanations.

But all this got me to thinking about how I’d perceive myself, the attendee, if I were the observing host. If I had the opportunity to see myself at a party, what would I think of myself? If I didn’t actually see me fucking, I’d probably think I was uncomfortable and not having a good time. I might even remove myself from the list.

This has taught me re-affirmed that I have to learn to be more patient, as a host, and not project so much. There’s a difference between accessing my real experience and assuming I know what a guy is thinking and feeling. I tend to project negatively, anyway.

I did have a good time on Friday night and I even invited some of the guys to my parties.

I wonder, though, if I’d have invited myself.

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Curious, I asked one of the hosts of that party what he charges to rent the space. His response, “It depends on your oral skills.” Ignoring what he said, I asked again. He thought I wasn’t catching on, so he iterated it. Twice. I finally said, “I know what you’re saying and it’s not gonna happen.”

Are you out of your fucking mind?


SLÜRPoral

Been getting a good response to the new oral party. The first one will be on Wednesday, October 27th. Wednesday is not my usual day, but it was a good turn-out the last time we had a Wednesday party.

As usual, have whatever kind of sex you want.


The Örgy Guy

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