Thursday, August 5, 2010

On Hosting – Post #5 6/24/10

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As a young kid, I wasn’t allowed to have friends over. By the time I was allowed, they were too afraid to come over, anyway. My parents had a bit of a reputation as very strict and not exactly warm and “hosty.” Even after I moved out, I still didn’t host anybody for anything....I didn’t know how to.

So the prospect of hosting lots of guys at once, for orgies, was a bit frightening. Still is. No matter how many parties I host, the prospect that guys won’t enjoy themselves really sucks. Scares the shit out of me. That’s a big part of the reason I try so hard.

You may have noticed that I try a lot of new things, like new party themes, videos on xtube, gadgets like the fog machine, interesting music. This blog. It isn’t throwing shit against a wall to see what sticks, it’s all very carefully researched and thought out. One of the aspects which makes capitalism so great is evolution. That which adapts will survive, and in a crowded marketplace, new ideas tend to resonate beyond the clatter of all things common. “Build it and they will come” does not exactly work.

You need more.

Preparing for a party includes much more than the actual setting up, and takes days. I do a lot (a lot) of administrative work, as well as recruiting, market research, shopping, and video work. It really is like preparing for a show. Once the lights go down and the party starts, I can only hope that all that preparation will come to fruition. Some nights are slow, while others are teeming. During a party, I do all the things I look for when I go to someone else’s party: a kind and attentive host who at least tries to remember my name; ensure that guys don’t have to wait to check in or check out; plenty of whatever is needed, like paper towels, cups, drinks, munchies, condoms, mouthwash, soap, bags for shoes, bags for clothes, batteries, toilet paper, lube, enemas.

Enemas. They’re a good indication of the kind of host I am. No, not (just) because I’m trying to get in your ass, but because they’re important.

I also participate with you guys.

Another integral aspect to a well-run orgy is cleanliness. This is my home and I’m a pretty fussy guy. If I go to someone else’s party and I smell urine in the bathroom, I feel taken for granted by the host. I take none of you for granted. I even clean the bathroom several times during a party, notably the toilet seat and rim, and the floor around the toilet. If someone takes a shower, I dry the floor. Wet socks are just gross! Especially if it’s piss.

Like for tonight’s party, I have to finish this blog and post it, write the email, make sure that my list is accurate (can’t send to peeps who’ve unsubscribed or jerks who actually reported me as spam…I get the email addresses of those guys), shop for supplies, answer RSVPs, and set up. I’d also like to burn more discs, but I doubt I’ll get to that.

Hosting three parties per week is a full time job – sometimes upward of two full time jobs. And I try very hard. If a guy doesn’t have a good time, I take it personally (except assholes – I just remove them from my list and move on), but I hope he knows how much I tried and how important he is to me....

....and you can rest assured that I’ll try even harder next time.

So please support me so I can continue to host these parties. Thank you.