Thursday, August 5, 2010

An Ode – Post #10

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Friday 7/16/10 7:35 P.M.

The Pier (at a table this time)

I’m sitting here watching these little kids knocking and kicking a beach ball around, and it occurs to me that I was about the same age when I organized my first group sex thing. I must’ve been five. At our backyard barbecue, I corralled two female cousins and two boys from the block to watch me piss behind a bush. My (much) older brother came around the corner to see what was going on, my observers scattered, and I couldn’t get my pants button snapped. Alas, it was a clasp, and by the time I figured that out, he was spreading the news.

That’s all I remember.

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This is for that guy at sex parties everyone tries to avoid.

Ode to Inappropriate Guy

Hey now Inappropriate Guy

Why must you talk so loud?

No one wants to hear you say

How much you missed your dog today

Inappropriate Guy

Yeah, Inappropriate Guy

Hey now Inappropriate Guy

Get your finger out of there

I’m still checking in my clothes

And that’s not even where it goes

Inappropriate Guy

Yeah, Inappropriate Guy

Hey now Inappropriate Guy

How could you not possibly know?

With guys who beat you off with stick

You somehow think they want your dick

Inappropriate Guy

Yeah, Inappropriate Guy

Hey now Inappropriate Guy

No comments while I’m screwing

I know that it’s a party

But you sound like my Aunt Marnie

Inappropriate Guy

No, no, noooo, Inappropriate Guy

Hey now Inappropriate Guy

You’re purposely standing in the way

Stop grabbing at the joint

Oh please just get the point

Inappropriate Guy

Stay out of the sling, Inappropriate Guy

With guys who beat you off with stick

You somehow think they want your dick

Your paisley jock is way too small

And, yes, we know your dick is too

Inappropriate Guy

Get your own poppers, Inappropriate Guy

Now now Inappropriate Guy

What was your email again?

Please stop with all the questions

And no to “private sessions”

Inappropriate Guy

You realize that’s your nose you’re thumbing?

There aren’t any parties coming

Inappropriate Guy

No, no, noooo, Inappropriate Guy

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